Summer Excitement in Breaking Bad GIFs

SUMMAH IS HERE.  I’m just as excited as you are.  But do movies and TV give us unrealistic expectations of magical summers? As they say in France, le duh.  But guess what? You can still have an awesome summer.  Here’s how, according to the characters of Breaking Bad.  SPOILER ALERT.

1. Catch up on sleep

2. Go swimming

I feel dirty for laughing at this.

3. Get a summer job.

* maybe not this job

4. Pick up a new hobby

Jesus Christ Marie! They're Minerals!. .

5. Connect with friends and family

6. Take a summer vacation

7. Learn something you always wanted to

* take your time

8. Play some video games

9. Work through your backlog of movies and TV

10. Get rid of the negatives in your life

11. And add some positives

* P.S. I LOVE whoever made this

12. Do some soul-searching.

13. Maybe you’ll discover a new talent!

14. Remember not to take yourself too seriously this summer.

15. And don’t get into trouble.

16. Expand your culinary palette.

17. Read.  Read.  Read.

18. Plan a really great prank.

19.  Learn a new language.

20. Relax this summer.

21. You’ll thank yourself for all you’ve done come next fall.

 

22. Have a great summer, everyone!

– Julia

Funny/Wacky Moments During My Adventures In Skyrim

In an open world game as huge and in-depth as Skyrim, there are an infinite amount of crazy situations that the Dragonborn can get her(him)self into.  Even though I myself was late on the Skyrim train and thus missed some of its infamous glitches, I can still remember lots of times where I sat laughing or shaking my head at the screen because of whatever crazy thing was happening.  Having completed the main campaign and nearly all of the sidequests, I have a lot of experience in the world of Skyrim.  Here are my personal favorite stories/moments! After you’re done reading, share your own wacky Skyrim adventures in the comments! What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to your mighty Dragonborn?

1. Chicken Murderer

This was my very first crazy situation from the game and also one of my fondest.  After escaping from Helgen, I entered Riverwood and wandered around the small village.  Mind you, this was the very first time I had played the game and wasn’t especially comfortable with the controls yet.  That’s where the chicken comes in.  Dumb thing.  It came up to me, clucking its head off while I stood there, sword in hand.  By some accidentally-on-purpose mistake, I brought my sword down upon the doomed creature.  “Oh my gosh, I can kill chickens in this game!” I laughed to myself.  That didn’t last long.  I turned around to find the enormous blacksmith approaching me with a huge axe.  I quickly ran away as he and the entire population of Riverwood pursued me, enraged at the death of their chicken.  With no idea what was happening and not powerful enough to take them all on, I reloaded my save, effectively clearing my name as a chicken murderer for good. 

2. I Hate Mountains

Okay, so if you play Skyrim you know that everyone does the weird jumping thing to cheat their way up the mountains.  Finding the real path just takes too long! Anyway, I was on my own, attempting to get to the top of a mountain in order to get a Word of Power.  It was early in the game and I had only killed a few dragons so far, so when I heard that tell-tale roaring and the beating of wings, I got a little nervous.  But, dangit, I had to get that Word of Power! After defying physics for long enough, I managed to jump my way up the mountain but ended up in a weird spot.  Then the dragon attacked.  But not just any dragon.  A freakin’ Ice Dragon.  I realized that my usual ice magic wasn’t going to work and switched over to flames in order to slay the monster.  By having just enough health potions and determination, the dragon’s health began to dwindle, and I finally landed the killing blow.  Yes! The Word of Power was mine.  I took a step forward — AND FELL OFF THE MOUNTAIN.  I lost my save and my temper, and only my last bit of good sense prevented me from hurling the controller.  The next time, I just followed the stupid path up the stupid mountain. 

3. No, Please, I’m Only A Level 2!

The very first time I played Skyrim I felt completely overwhelmed.  Without really knowing what I was doing and not understanding that leveling up a bit at the beginning before you go off exploring is a very good idea, me and my follower skipped off into the woods looking for adventure.  That’s what you’re supposed to do in this game, right? Hmm.  We hadn’t gotten very far before I saw a little cottage in the distance.  It literally could have belonged to Snow White, it was so cute.  But Snow White wasn’t home that day.  As I approached the house this crazy Dark Elf in black robes came out, screaming at me for trespassing.  Confused, I stood there for a second and then he took advantage of my hesitation and threw a fire ball at me! What the heck, dude?! The fire ball had diminished my health so I took cover behind a rock and took a potion, standing up every few seconds to throw a spell right back at that jerk.  After literally like six or seven minutes of fighting, I was able to take him out.  Praise the Lord! I had used up all of my potions but I made it! Then a flapping sound echoed in the distance, followed by a terrifying roar.  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I thought.  Nope.  A huge dragon landed right in front of the cottage, and immediately attacked me and my companion.  So I did what any noble Dragonborn would do.  I took off, panicking.  I hoped that I could run far away enough to escape it, but that thing chased me for miles.  I dodged its fire breath and ran into a few wolves along the way but I kept running.  I finally fell off of a cliff and died.  I didn’t play Skyrim for a while after that.  But don’t worry.  I got revenge and I raided that Elf’s cottage.  So there!

So what’s your wackiest Skyrim stories? Sound off in the comments and happy adventuring in the world of Skyrim! I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee and started a blog. 

– Julia

The Blank Page Ahead

As my senior year of high school draws closer and closer to an end, I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s next.  The big three questions as I like to call them have been buzzing around my head like electrons and, unfortunately, have been spreading their negative charge to my perspective.  Where should I go to college? What should I do with my life? And last but not least, am I going to be happy? These are normal questions that everyone needs to ask themselves, but in my brain, they’ve been turning into “I won’t do well in college anyway”, “I’m not doing anything important with my life”, and “I’ll never be happy after school”.  To a degree, I understand why some anxiety comes along with these questions.  But on the other hand, I’m trying to see it as something exciting.  To illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about Star Trek.

Help! I’m under attack by my future!

Although technically the Earth hasn’t been fully explored yet, I like to look at outer space as the real final frontier.  An almost completely unexplored territory, space is full of infinite possibilities for discovery and adventure.  Pretty awesome, right? Right.  But since space is full of unknowns, it can be scary and sometimes even dangerous.

A visual of my brain on a daily basis.

Thing is, the great Where No Man Has Gone Before is actually an excellent metaphor for our personal future.  It’s a gigantic unknown, an uncharted, unexplored place where you are the hero.  It’s just a big blank page waiting to be filled by you in anyway you want.  It may be dark and a little scary at times, but there are also infinite possibilities.  And we all need a little adventure.

So before you’re all like

Before you let yourself hit a brick wall

Before you let negative thoughts end your adventure before it even begins

And before all your worries drive you absolutely crazy

Just remember that the unknown future isn’t something to be scared of.  Don’t be afraid to go boldly into your own life.  It’s an exciting time, and surely in this crazy world only adventures, big and small, await you.

*Note: I am now adding the clapping Picard GIF to the end of every post.  It makes me feel super good about myself.

– Julia

 

A Nerd Girl’s Love Life Entirely In Superhero GIFS

Seriously, does anything need to be explained about this title? Let’s get started.

Fake dudes have been your comfort-zone crushes for a while now

And you’re hesitant to break out of your little world of capes and spandex

Because every time you try to meet someone it doesn’t work.  Expectation:

Reality:

But you still can’t stop wishing for a Superman to your Lois Lane

Especially when you’re painfully aware of how accurately this portrays your life

And there was that one guy…

But it didn’t end well.

So just when you’ve hit rock bottom by watching Hulk Vs. Wolverine/Hulk Vs. Thor for the 30th time…

You see somebody at school or work and suddenly you’re all like

 

Cuz he’s got the heart of Captain America

The brains of Bruce Banner

The brooding mysteriousness of Batman

The hair of Thor

And the swag of Tony Stark!

And you know that you’re a super-match made in Heaven!

But alas! Your love life seems doomed to be worse than even Wolverine’s…

Because this amazing guy already likes someone else

gif,avengers,Captain America,love

And at first you’re all

And then you’re all

But then you start to get REALLY mad like

CUZ IT’S NOT FREAKING FAIR

But when you stop and think about it, maybe you missed the lessons that all those comics teach us

That no matter who you are

And no matter what others say

You are super.

tobey maguire (97) Animated Gif on Giphy

With or without your dream hero.

Yes, I know the feels.  Soak it up.

Besides, there’s a new cutie in town who’s caught your eye.

Stay awesome.

 

– Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

100 Things That I’ve Learned

One of my grandfather’s favorite things to tell me was that you learn something new every day.  I believe in that, but have found that life only teaches us when we pay attention.  I’m only seventeen years old, but lately I’ve been trying to listen to life’s lessons.   Here are 100 things that I’ve learned so far.

1. Let yourself learn something new every day

2. God isn’t in the thunder and the lightning, but in the whispers of our hearts

3. Push yourself to do better

4. Don’t be too hard on yourself 

5. God, family, food 

6. Nobody likes to listen to the dream you had last night.  Nobody.  

7. Popcorn tastes incredible on hot dogs

8. Don’t let your mind wander if you can’t bring it back 

9. Your mom can be your best friend

10. So can your dad

11. Everything in moderation

12. Listen to new music

13. Make sure that who you are is who you want to be

14. Nobody else can do what you were meant to do

15. You are never, ever alone

16. Appreciate nature

17. Think 

18. Write it out

19. Read the classics.  

20. Read the new stuff. 

21. Just read a lot, in general 

22. The Rain Song by Led Zeppelin is the best song to cry to

23. Take a risk.  Take a chance.  Make a change.  

24. Give social media a break

25. Call your grandma

26. Learn the family stories 

27. Popularity is ridiculously overrated 

28. You don’t need a million “best” friends

29. Money isn’t everything, but it’s important

30. You can’t make big decisions by yourself.  Pray a lot 

31. Be well-rounded

32. Be generous

33. Be grateful always

34. But don’t be a jerk

35. Always check to see if you have something between your teeth after meals

36. Be kind to your waiter

37. Do NOT order Italian food at a non-Italian restaurant

38. Don’t do things halfway

39. Let your walls down

40. Being vulnerable is not the worst thing in the world

41. Apologize, even if the other person doesn’t

42. Don’t freak out if you feel like your teen years aren’t the “best of your life.”  The best is yet to come

43. It’s never as good as it seems, it’s never as bad as it seems 

44. Please, cut down on the selfies 

45. Be respectful and polite to everyone

46. But don’t be a doormat.  That’s bad 

47. There is only one you.  Therefore, you are unique.  Let it show

48. Keep your promises

49. It’s okay to be sad

50. “Lighten up, Francis” 

51. Laugh at yourself

52. Don’t laugh at other people.  Laugh near other people. (Just kidding)  

53. Get out of your comfort zone

54. Just breathe

55. Don’t set your expectations way up in space.  That’s a good way to get disappointed 

56. Keep your standards high, though

57. Don’t forget your sense of humor

58. Put an end to procrastination (insert obligatory procrastination joke here) 

59. Develop your personal style

60. THIS DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING GOES 

61. It’s OK to be a nerd

62. It’s OK to be a jock

63. It’s OK to be a prep 

64. It’s great to be yourself

65. You have a talent.  Find it

66. Introverts are not better than extroverts.  Extroverts are not better than introverts

67. If you love something, show it

68. Don’t base your life expectations on TV 

69. Be eclectic.  You can like The Civil Wars and Avenged Sevenfold at the same time

70. Don’t live in the past

71. Don’t live in the future

72. You don’t have to agree with everything

73. Avoid cliches.  (anyone else tired of the bacon thing?) 

74. Don’t be ignorant, but please, if you like a celebrity DON’T READ THEIR WIKIPEDIA BIO 

75. Be a good listener

76. RELAX

77. Believe in Santa Claus

78. Give your mom a hug when you wake up

79. Let suffering make you a better person

80. Little kids can teach you important lessons

81. BUTTERFLIES ARE TERRIFYING CLOSE UP – http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121119015627/spongebob/images/thumb/7/79/Wormy_Butterfly_Close.jpg/640px-Wormy_Butterfly_Close.jpg

82. Write down your inside jokes so you don’t forget them

83. Give things and people a chance, for crying out loud

84. Don’t live just to be “in a relationship”

85. Video games are art (try The Last of Us, Journey, or Kingdom Hearts if you don’t believe me) 

86. Be humble

87. You are loved

88. Ask questions and find answers 

89. Just care

90. Be proud of yourself

91. Get excited

92. Face your fears

93. Silence is golden.  Unnecessary chattering is that old penny you saw in the gutter with gum stuck to it 

94. Separate opinion from fact 

95. Let yourself laugh

96. Let yourself cry

97. Punch apathy right in the kisser

98. Just say no to uggs

99. Your life is meaningful

100. Make it worth remembering 

– Julia

My Favorite Episodes Of MST3K (Part 1)

The Daily Suck

You may think you’re a comedy buff.  You may think that you’ve seen all the funniest movies and tv shows out there, and are well acquainted with all of the major comedians.  You may think that you know funny.  But I’m going to tell you right now that you have not seen it all until you’ve watched a little show called Mystery Science Theater 3000.  

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K for short) is not easily explained.  Basically, a mad scientist and his partner are trying to find the best way to take over the world, so they send their temp, Joel (and later, Mike) up into space and force him to watch terrible movies in an effort to break his will.  In the mean time, Joel builds robots Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot to keep him company.  The premise of the show is that we as the audience get to watch the trio watch these horrible films and make fun of (riff on) them.  It sounds silly, I know, but trust me, this show is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  Running from 1989 to 1999, MST3K has a dedicated cult following and a wealth of one hilarious episode after the next.  In no particular order, here’s a list of some of my favorites!

1. Cave Dwellers

This Conan The Barbarian inspired film gives us one of my very favorite episodes of MST3K.  Joel and the bots never miss opportunity to riff on its cast of goofy characters and inexplicable events, from the incompetent villain (the dude with the mustache) to hero Ator’s fight with invisible enemies.  Hilarious from start to finish.

Riff that sums it up: “Tolkien couldn’t follow this plot!”

2. Boggy Creek II: and The Legend Continues…

Boggy Creek II is one of those movies that seems like it was born to be on MST3K.  Following the journey of a researcher and his students and their attempt to find the legendary “Boggy Creek Creature” deep in the south, the MST3K crew (with Mike instead of Joel, who left the show in its fifth season) gives us riff after riff that made me cry with laughter.  I’ve watched this episode a thousand times and it just keeps getting funnier.

Riff that sums it up: (Mike as the movie’s main character) “We’re goin’ camping and you’re gonna watch.”

3. Time Chasers

A nerdy inventor named Nick and his journalist girlfriend go on a trip through time to prevent an evil CEO from using Nick’s time machine to destroy the future.  Their journey involves a trip to a futuristic (?) food court, bonding in the produce isle of a grocery store, and a very poor mixture of plaids.  Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow pull no punches with this one, and their riffing is absolutely top-notch during Time Chasers.                                                                                                                                  

 Riff that sums it up: “The adventures of the average people!”

4. Manos: The Hands Of Fate

 

If you were to look at anyone else’s list of favorite MST3K episodes, I can guarantee that this one will be on that list.  And for good reason.  Manos: The Hands Of Fate is one of the worst movies to ever be featured on MST3K, making it perfect fodder for Joel and the bots.  The only way to watch this film is to watch the MST3K version, and the guys ensure that it is one of the most hilarious experiences you will ever have.

Riff that sums it up: (Tom) “So we’ve gotta be, what, half an hour into this movie by now, right?” (Joel) “No, actually, it’s more like a minute.”  (Tom, appalled) “…No.”

5. Werewolf

Werewolf.  I can remember how horribly my stomach hurt after watching this episode from laughing so hard.  The MST3K cast rip this movie apart like the werewolf does to his victims, except with much more ferocity than the wimpy monster in the film.  Look out for Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo’s musical interlude during this one: it’s a doozy.

Riff that sums it up: (We hear a door slam in the background) “Oh, that was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.”

There are literally SO many hilarious episodes that I could never compile a complete list in one sitting, so stay tuned for part 2 coming soon! In the mean time, you can check out every episode of MST3K right here on this incredible website and fan community: http://www.club-mst3k.com/ Get ready for some serious laughs.

– Julia

You May Suck at Being A Teenage Girl If…

Okay, so you’re a teenage girl.  Yay! These are some of the most formative years of your life, full of self-discovery, new experiences, and that magical “high school experience” adults talk about.  But did you ever wake up one day and wonder if you’re actually any good at it? That’s why I made this list that’s guaranteed to help you answer that question.  If you’re like me, then you most definitely suck at it.  But don’t get out the Kleenex just yet.  Sucking at the whole teenage thing can actually be pretty cool and if you stick with this blog, you’ll find out why!

DEMI-Thumbs-Up-GIF

Trust me.

You may suck at being a teenage girl if:

You find yourself recording “Heroes of Cosplay” instead of “The Bachelor”

Deadpool-vs-Comic-Con-2013-012

The only time you’ve ever flirted sounded something like this

when-you-try-to-flirt-with-someone

You’d rather shop at Gamestop then Hollister

Your mom still does your hair and makeup because you look like this when you try to do it yourself

infomercial-gifs-fails-6

Your favorite show is on BBC America

tumblr_lwxjrql1fs1qlkryp

You try to take a cute selfie and you end up looking like this

You start talking about stuff you like and people look at you like

 Animated Gif on Giphy

You watch movies that were made more than 40 years ago

You’ve never seen a Ryan Gosling movie

You don’t own any PINK by Victoria’s Secret

So if any of the above apply to you, congratulations, you suck! *Hugs* Sound off in the comment section and let me know why you suck at being a teenage girl; meanwhile I have some (all) Ryan Gosling movies to catch up on…