Summer Excitement in Breaking Bad GIFs

SUMMAH IS HERE.  I’m just as excited as you are.  But do movies and TV give us unrealistic expectations of magical summers? As they say in France, le duh.  But guess what? You can still have an awesome summer.  Here’s how, according to the characters of Breaking Bad.  SPOILER ALERT.

1. Catch up on sleep

2. Go swimming

I feel dirty for laughing at this.

3. Get a summer job.

* maybe not this job

4. Pick up a new hobby

Jesus Christ Marie! They're Minerals!. .

5. Connect with friends and family

6. Take a summer vacation

7. Learn something you always wanted to

* take your time

8. Play some video games

9. Work through your backlog of movies and TV

10. Get rid of the negatives in your life

11. And add some positives

* P.S. I LOVE whoever made this

12. Do some soul-searching.

13. Maybe you’ll discover a new talent!

14. Remember not to take yourself too seriously this summer.

15. And don’t get into trouble.

16. Expand your culinary palette.

17. Read.  Read.  Read.

18. Plan a really great prank.

19.  Learn a new language.

20. Relax this summer.

21. You’ll thank yourself for all you’ve done come next fall.

 

22. Have a great summer, everyone!

– Julia

October Friday Movie Night: Psycho

It’s the very first Friday Move Night of October, and throughout the month I’ll be featuring my favorite Halloween movies starring the creepiest, freakiest, scariest, kookiest, and spookiest characters around! Tonight’s movie is a classic slasher by the Master of Suspense himself, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock: Psycho!

Yikes! That picture gives me the willies.

While technically a slasher film, Psycho goes so much deeper into psychological horror than the genre is known for thanks to Hitchcock’s direction and Anthony Perkins performance as the mild-mannered Norman Bates.  When Marion Crane (played by Janet Leigh, mother of Jamie Lee Curtis from Halloween) pulls into the Bates Motel for the night, she encounters its owner and manager, Norman, who lives in the big creepy house up the hill.  He seems like a sweet guy, maybe a little nervous, but overall he kind of just needs a hug.  Right?  Without spoiling anything, we as the audience join Marion as she descends into the movie’s spiral of darkness and madness as we try to unravel the mystery of Norman and his enigmatic mother and it’s absolutely chilling.

All of the movie’s performances are incredible, but it’s hard to not place Anthony Perkins performance as Norman Bates among the greatest of all time.  He takes on many different shades as the movie progresses, and you can’t help but be spooked by his peculiar stuttering and way of speaking.

Scary movies aren’t particularly scary when they’re stupid, and Psycho is among the most intelligent that I’ve ever seen.  It blends straight-up slasher terror with psychological intrigue and three-dimensional characters that never fall into the tired horror cliches.  Psycho has few scenes of actual violence, but instead presents its scares through dialogue and its representation of madness, which is scary because it’s not far from reality.

In conclusion, Psycho is a movie that demands to be thought over after its powerful conclusion and leaves a lasting impression.  You won’t easily shake off the terror of the story…especially when you’re in the shower.

– Julia

My Favorite Episodes Of MST3K (Part 1)

The Daily Suck

You may think you’re a comedy buff.  You may think that you’ve seen all the funniest movies and tv shows out there, and are well acquainted with all of the major comedians.  You may think that you know funny.  But I’m going to tell you right now that you have not seen it all until you’ve watched a little show called Mystery Science Theater 3000.  

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K for short) is not easily explained.  Basically, a mad scientist and his partner are trying to find the best way to take over the world, so they send their temp, Joel (and later, Mike) up into space and force him to watch terrible movies in an effort to break his will.  In the mean time, Joel builds robots Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot to keep him company.  The premise of the show is that we as the audience get to watch the trio watch these horrible films and make fun of (riff on) them.  It sounds silly, I know, but trust me, this show is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  Running from 1989 to 1999, MST3K has a dedicated cult following and a wealth of one hilarious episode after the next.  In no particular order, here’s a list of some of my favorites!

1. Cave Dwellers

This Conan The Barbarian inspired film gives us one of my very favorite episodes of MST3K.  Joel and the bots never miss opportunity to riff on its cast of goofy characters and inexplicable events, from the incompetent villain (the dude with the mustache) to hero Ator’s fight with invisible enemies.  Hilarious from start to finish.

Riff that sums it up: “Tolkien couldn’t follow this plot!”

2. Boggy Creek II: and The Legend Continues…

Boggy Creek II is one of those movies that seems like it was born to be on MST3K.  Following the journey of a researcher and his students and their attempt to find the legendary “Boggy Creek Creature” deep in the south, the MST3K crew (with Mike instead of Joel, who left the show in its fifth season) gives us riff after riff that made me cry with laughter.  I’ve watched this episode a thousand times and it just keeps getting funnier.

Riff that sums it up: (Mike as the movie’s main character) “We’re goin’ camping and you’re gonna watch.”

3. Time Chasers

A nerdy inventor named Nick and his journalist girlfriend go on a trip through time to prevent an evil CEO from using Nick’s time machine to destroy the future.  Their journey involves a trip to a futuristic (?) food court, bonding in the produce isle of a grocery store, and a very poor mixture of plaids.  Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow pull no punches with this one, and their riffing is absolutely top-notch during Time Chasers.                                                                                                                                  

 Riff that sums it up: “The adventures of the average people!”

4. Manos: The Hands Of Fate

 

If you were to look at anyone else’s list of favorite MST3K episodes, I can guarantee that this one will be on that list.  And for good reason.  Manos: The Hands Of Fate is one of the worst movies to ever be featured on MST3K, making it perfect fodder for Joel and the bots.  The only way to watch this film is to watch the MST3K version, and the guys ensure that it is one of the most hilarious experiences you will ever have.

Riff that sums it up: (Tom) “So we’ve gotta be, what, half an hour into this movie by now, right?” (Joel) “No, actually, it’s more like a minute.”  (Tom, appalled) “…No.”

5. Werewolf

Werewolf.  I can remember how horribly my stomach hurt after watching this episode from laughing so hard.  The MST3K cast rip this movie apart like the werewolf does to his victims, except with much more ferocity than the wimpy monster in the film.  Look out for Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo’s musical interlude during this one: it’s a doozy.

Riff that sums it up: (We hear a door slam in the background) “Oh, that was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.”

There are literally SO many hilarious episodes that I could never compile a complete list in one sitting, so stay tuned for part 2 coming soon! In the mean time, you can check out every episode of MST3K right here on this incredible website and fan community: http://www.club-mst3k.com/ Get ready for some serious laughs.

– Julia

Friday Movie Night: Poltergeist

The Daily Suck

Since today is Friday the 13th, I picked a scary movie to feature on this week’s Friday Movie Night: Poltergeist!

Poltergeist!!

They just don’t make posters like that anymore.  Anyway, Poltergeist was pretty much my first scary movie and man, did it deliver! The movie tells the story of the Freelings, your average, suburban family, who must deal with an evil spirit that possesses their home and kidnaps their daughter, Carol Anne.  Even though that particular narrative is now pretty much the benchmark for every horror movie ever, Poltergeist stands out from all the other wannabes.  I admire how the love and strength of the family is portrayed in the face of all the terrible things that they go through without sacrificing the scare factor.  Cuz Poltergeist is scary.

      

That’s just creepy stuff right there.  Especially the scene when Carol Anne starts to answer questions from the tv set, even though all we hear is static (“Hello? What do you look like?…I can’t hear you! Five.  Yes.  Yes.  I don’t know.  I don’t know”).  Or, more famously, the part when *spoiler* one of the parapsychologists hired by the Freelings goes into the restroom AND PEELS OFF HIS FACE.  It turns out to be just a hallucination, but you’re pretty much already scarred for life by that point.  My favorite scene in the whole movie is towards the end, though, when Mrs. Freeling is sprinting down the hallway towards Carol Anne’s room to save the kids from the poltergeist — and the hallway s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s out farther and farther until the door seems miles away.  It’s a great effect and totally creepy.  So, yeah, Poltergeist tells a great story filled with chilling scares and touching family moments, and is one of the greatest scary movies of all time.  But who am I kidding? We all know who the real star of the movie is.

Forget the Ghostbusters.  The person I want on my side in the event of a poltergeist haunting is psychic Tangina Barrons for sure.  Who can forget her treasury of quotes, ranging from “Ya’ll mind hanging back? You’re jammin’ the frequencies” to “Now, clear your minds.  It knows what scares you.  It has from the very beginning.  Don’t give it any help, it knows too much already”? Um, hello? Gosh, Tangina, save some awesome for the rest of the cast.

This movie is definitely one of my all-time favorites.  If you haven’t seen it already, go watch Poltergeist and let me know what you thought in the comments!

P.S. Don’t go into the light!

– Julia

Friday Movie Night: Citizen Kane

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The Daily Suck

On this week’s Friday Movie Night, I present to you yet another classic, maybe the movie to top all movies: Orson Welles’ masterpiece: Citizen Kane.  There’s a thousand things I could say about the actual production of the movie, including the fact that Welles’ bascially did everthing, but for now I’ll just talk about the film itself. 

Citizen Kane tells the story of a reporter trying to piece together the life of recently deceased newspaper tycoon Charles Foster Kane.  One question in particular drives the journalist: the meaning of Kane’s mysterious last word, “Rosebud”.  Even though Charles Foster Kane is the man whom the movie orbits around, we as the audience share the same limited knowledge of him as the reporter, only learning about his life through the accounts of the men and women who knew him best.  Through a series of flashbacks, people like his former best friend and ex-wife weave the story of Kane’s life and career, but it is important to remember that these witnesses may or may not be reliable narrators, leaving us with even more questions and making the mystery of Charles Kane even more cloudy.  That may be the greatest part of Citizen Kane.  He is the main character of the movie, a larger-than-life character who is simultaneously the hero and the villain, and yet we never truly know him.  His best friend is a bitter old man and his ex-wife is an alchoholic, only adding more doubt to their memories of Kane. 

Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane is powerful.  His scene-stealing presence onscreen shows Kane’s charisma and influence but also the intimidating and controlling side of his personality, which rears its head in more than a few points in the film.  Without ruining anything for you, Kane is a multi-layered and complicated character, and you’ll spend the whole movie trying to uncover his secrets in complete fascination. 

Orson Welles’ filming techniques are perfect; every shot, every camera angle, every shadow effect is not there just to be there: they all mean something to the film and add yet another layer of nuance to the supporting cast’s flashbacks and memories.  There’s a reason why this film is number one on many, including the American Film Institute’s, list. 

In short, Citizen Kane is pure power in every aspect.  Through every up and down, rise and fall, triumph and defeat, we look through the windows of memory into Charles Foster Kane’s life, which ask much and answer few.  The only time we witness a guaranteed true moment of Kane’s life is at the beginning, moments before his death.  Somehow when it’s all over, this scene tells us more than we ever anticipated.  Citizen Kane is one of the greatest movies of all time and one of my personal favorites.  Its deeply-layered, thought-provoking story could be discussed for hours, but for now, I’ll leave you to uncover the mystery of “Rosebud” for yourself. 

TV Shows I Can’t Get Enough Of

The Daily Suck

Before I had Netflix I wasn’t a huge TV person, but that instant streaming gets to you and soon enough you find yourself watching your new favorite shows through all hours of the night.  Here’s a list of my current favorites and after you get through the list, comment and let me know what show is taking over your life!

1. Sherlock

Written and created by infamous murderer of happiness Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss, BBC’s Sherlock is one of the best shows I’ve ever seen hands-down, taking the famous Arthur Conan Doyle characters and putting them in a modern London with both updated technology and crime.  Let’s talk about the cast.  Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes is just genius, giving one of the best performances on TV (or in movies, for that matter).  His Sherlock is brilliant, rude, eccentric, cold, and heroic all at the same time and utterly unforgettable.  Martin Freeman as John Watson is the perfect complement to Benedict, working both as Sherlock’s partner, moral compass and also as a strong, complex character himself.  There are a thousand things I could say about Sherlock but the best one to tell you is to go watch it.  I can’t believe that in only six episodes (yes, six!) BBC has created a phenomenon that is absolutely deserving of all the praise.  With incredible, writing, acting, and storytelling, Sherlock makes this list with flying colors.

2. Supernatural

As a kid, I loved the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine, but now that I’m older and have outgrown the series, Supernatural is the perfect replacement.  Supernatural tells the story of two monster-hunting brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who travel across America saving people from ghosts, spirits, vampires, demons, shape-shifters, and pretty much whatever else goes bump in the night.  It’s extremely creepy, scary, and violent so don’t watch it with your little siblings but it’s perfect for a dose of scares and big helping of feels on the side.  See, at the heart of Supernatural is the relationship between Sam and Dean and that’s what makes the show so great.  Beyond all the monster-hunting and slaying are two brothers who love each other unconditionally and would do anything for the other, even going to Hell and back (literally!).  Jensen Ackles, who plays Dean, and Jared Padalecki (Sam) have such natural chemistry that it’s hard to believe they’re not brothers for real and they keep a perfect balance of both tough hunters and caring siblings.  In a world that’s filled with evil and monsters, Sam and Dean’s relationship is the light that shines through the darkness and keeps you clicking on the next episode without hesitation.

3. Psych

Psych has that rare ability to make me smile and laugh even on bad days.  Besides being one of the funniest shows that I’ve seen, Psych’s characters are amazing and the writing is hilarious while still being great.  You can’t talk about Psych without touching on James Roday as fake psychic detective Shawn Spencer and Dule Hill as his uptight partner.  They’re some of my favorite TV buddies and continuously outdo each other in wackiness.  The rest of the cast is awesome, and once you start watching, you will want Shawn and cop Juliet (played by Maggie Lawson) to get together SO FREAKING BAD.  But just watch it for yourself.  Psych is a fantastic show, complete with a great and hilarious cast, some of the funniest writing on TV, and stands as one of the best and most original cop shows ever.

 

So that’s what I can’t stop watching right now! Netflix is a tough temptation, especially when you have blogging to do, but these three are my go-to shows when I get everything done.  Or, y’know, maybe not before I get everything done.  When I have a quick minute or 45 to spare.  Whatever.  I wanna hear what you’re watching and let me know if you check out one of these shows that you haven’t seen before!

– Julia

You May Suck at Being A Teenage Girl If…

Okay, so you’re a teenage girl.  Yay! These are some of the most formative years of your life, full of self-discovery, new experiences, and that magical “high school experience” adults talk about.  But did you ever wake up one day and wonder if you’re actually any good at it? That’s why I made this list that’s guaranteed to help you answer that question.  If you’re like me, then you most definitely suck at it.  But don’t get out the Kleenex just yet.  Sucking at the whole teenage thing can actually be pretty cool and if you stick with this blog, you’ll find out why!

DEMI-Thumbs-Up-GIF

Trust me.

You may suck at being a teenage girl if:

You find yourself recording “Heroes of Cosplay” instead of “The Bachelor”

Deadpool-vs-Comic-Con-2013-012

The only time you’ve ever flirted sounded something like this

when-you-try-to-flirt-with-someone

You’d rather shop at Gamestop then Hollister

Your mom still does your hair and makeup because you look like this when you try to do it yourself

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Your favorite show is on BBC America

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You try to take a cute selfie and you end up looking like this

You start talking about stuff you like and people look at you like

 Animated Gif on Giphy

You watch movies that were made more than 40 years ago

You’ve never seen a Ryan Gosling movie

You don’t own any PINK by Victoria’s Secret

So if any of the above apply to you, congratulations, you suck! *Hugs* Sound off in the comment section and let me know why you suck at being a teenage girl; meanwhile I have some (all) Ryan Gosling movies to catch up on…