My Poetry: #9

Today I’m sharing a poem with you that’s the 9th in a collection I’m currently working on (hence the title).  As usual, this poem is pretty open to interpretation, so feel free to reflect and come to your own conclusions.  I would love to hear them in the comments! Enjoy.

9

I am a dark child

Wolves teeth, steel heart, black eyes, lightning breath, hair that hangs

like weeping willow tears –

all wrapped up in paper skin

not porcelain (like those other girls who live in mirrors)

but paper.  All the words lay waiting on my skin.

Some have been beaten in.

All the words are breathing on my skin.

Some have been beaten in.

And me – dark child, child of night, child of the lights that burn

when they sky has closed its eyes –

me – with words that breathe and wait, that paint my body with

vowels and consonants, nouns and pronouns, verbs, and all their

commanding action –

most often can find nothing to say.

 

Thanks for reading.

– Julia

 

Funny/Wacky Moments During My Adventures In Skyrim

In an open world game as huge and in-depth as Skyrim, there are an infinite amount of crazy situations that the Dragonborn can get her(him)self into.  Even though I myself was late on the Skyrim train and thus missed some of its infamous glitches, I can still remember lots of times where I sat laughing or shaking my head at the screen because of whatever crazy thing was happening.  Having completed the main campaign and nearly all of the sidequests, I have a lot of experience in the world of Skyrim.  Here are my personal favorite stories/moments! After you’re done reading, share your own wacky Skyrim adventures in the comments! What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to your mighty Dragonborn?

1. Chicken Murderer

This was my very first crazy situation from the game and also one of my fondest.  After escaping from Helgen, I entered Riverwood and wandered around the small village.  Mind you, this was the very first time I had played the game and wasn’t especially comfortable with the controls yet.  That’s where the chicken comes in.  Dumb thing.  It came up to me, clucking its head off while I stood there, sword in hand.  By some accidentally-on-purpose mistake, I brought my sword down upon the doomed creature.  “Oh my gosh, I can kill chickens in this game!” I laughed to myself.  That didn’t last long.  I turned around to find the enormous blacksmith approaching me with a huge axe.  I quickly ran away as he and the entire population of Riverwood pursued me, enraged at the death of their chicken.  With no idea what was happening and not powerful enough to take them all on, I reloaded my save, effectively clearing my name as a chicken murderer for good. 

2. I Hate Mountains

Okay, so if you play Skyrim you know that everyone does the weird jumping thing to cheat their way up the mountains.  Finding the real path just takes too long! Anyway, I was on my own, attempting to get to the top of a mountain in order to get a Word of Power.  It was early in the game and I had only killed a few dragons so far, so when I heard that tell-tale roaring and the beating of wings, I got a little nervous.  But, dangit, I had to get that Word of Power! After defying physics for long enough, I managed to jump my way up the mountain but ended up in a weird spot.  Then the dragon attacked.  But not just any dragon.  A freakin’ Ice Dragon.  I realized that my usual ice magic wasn’t going to work and switched over to flames in order to slay the monster.  By having just enough health potions and determination, the dragon’s health began to dwindle, and I finally landed the killing blow.  Yes! The Word of Power was mine.  I took a step forward — AND FELL OFF THE MOUNTAIN.  I lost my save and my temper, and only my last bit of good sense prevented me from hurling the controller.  The next time, I just followed the stupid path up the stupid mountain. 

3. No, Please, I’m Only A Level 2!

The very first time I played Skyrim I felt completely overwhelmed.  Without really knowing what I was doing and not understanding that leveling up a bit at the beginning before you go off exploring is a very good idea, me and my follower skipped off into the woods looking for adventure.  That’s what you’re supposed to do in this game, right? Hmm.  We hadn’t gotten very far before I saw a little cottage in the distance.  It literally could have belonged to Snow White, it was so cute.  But Snow White wasn’t home that day.  As I approached the house this crazy Dark Elf in black robes came out, screaming at me for trespassing.  Confused, I stood there for a second and then he took advantage of my hesitation and threw a fire ball at me! What the heck, dude?! The fire ball had diminished my health so I took cover behind a rock and took a potion, standing up every few seconds to throw a spell right back at that jerk.  After literally like six or seven minutes of fighting, I was able to take him out.  Praise the Lord! I had used up all of my potions but I made it! Then a flapping sound echoed in the distance, followed by a terrifying roar.  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I thought.  Nope.  A huge dragon landed right in front of the cottage, and immediately attacked me and my companion.  So I did what any noble Dragonborn would do.  I took off, panicking.  I hoped that I could run far away enough to escape it, but that thing chased me for miles.  I dodged its fire breath and ran into a few wolves along the way but I kept running.  I finally fell off of a cliff and died.  I didn’t play Skyrim for a while after that.  But don’t worry.  I got revenge and I raided that Elf’s cottage.  So there!

So what’s your wackiest Skyrim stories? Sound off in the comments and happy adventuring in the world of Skyrim! I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee and started a blog. 

– Julia

The Blank Page Ahead

As my senior year of high school draws closer and closer to an end, I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s next.  The big three questions as I like to call them have been buzzing around my head like electrons and, unfortunately, have been spreading their negative charge to my perspective.  Where should I go to college? What should I do with my life? And last but not least, am I going to be happy? These are normal questions that everyone needs to ask themselves, but in my brain, they’ve been turning into “I won’t do well in college anyway”, “I’m not doing anything important with my life”, and “I’ll never be happy after school”.  To a degree, I understand why some anxiety comes along with these questions.  But on the other hand, I’m trying to see it as something exciting.  To illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about Star Trek.

Help! I’m under attack by my future!

Although technically the Earth hasn’t been fully explored yet, I like to look at outer space as the real final frontier.  An almost completely unexplored territory, space is full of infinite possibilities for discovery and adventure.  Pretty awesome, right? Right.  But since space is full of unknowns, it can be scary and sometimes even dangerous.

A visual of my brain on a daily basis.

Thing is, the great Where No Man Has Gone Before is actually an excellent metaphor for our personal future.  It’s a gigantic unknown, an uncharted, unexplored place where you are the hero.  It’s just a big blank page waiting to be filled by you in anyway you want.  It may be dark and a little scary at times, but there are also infinite possibilities.  And we all need a little adventure.

So before you’re all like

Before you let yourself hit a brick wall

Before you let negative thoughts end your adventure before it even begins

And before all your worries drive you absolutely crazy

Just remember that the unknown future isn’t something to be scared of.  Don’t be afraid to go boldly into your own life.  It’s an exciting time, and surely in this crazy world only adventures, big and small, await you.

*Note: I am now adding the clapping Picard GIF to the end of every post.  It makes me feel super good about myself.

– Julia

 

Teenage Cliches I Never Want To See Again

In a disturbingly borg-like fashion, many teenage girls seem to share a hive consciousness where they latch onto something and run it into the ground until you’re begging never to see it again.  Members of the hive who form their own personalities are immediately banished from the rest of the consciousness and left on their own in the wild, never again to be accepted back into the hive.  Sadly, most of these poor creatures end up as some predator’s lunch within a few days after their banishment.  Or they start a blog.  (See what I did there?) But seriously, why do girls (and guys) buy their tickets to ride on the Collective Train of Thought without trying to come up with something original? Yes, it was funny the first 100 times I heard it! It was even funny a few times after that! But say it one more time and it’s hard not to dream of Godzilla rising from the sea and smashing the cliche bandwagon, only to be followed by Mothra of course.

So without further ado, here are my top five teenage cliches that I never – ever – want to see again!

1. Bacon And Its Near-Religious Following

Yes, yes, I get it.  Bacon is very delicious.  And it is! But please, just stop with the “bacon is, like, MY LIFE” cliches.  It’s run its course as your favorite course. Oh my gosh, did you catch that? Up top.  No…? Okay.  Moving on.

2. “That Awkward Moment When…”

You know what, I’ll confess that I’m guilty of this one.  But seriously.  If everything is awkward, NOTHING IS AWKWARD.  And that is truly awkward.

3. Mustaches

This one is just sort of puzzling.  Why are girls so obsessed with men’s facial hair? And, like, those mustaches on sticks you get at claire’s…is anyone really going to carry that around and hold it above their upper lip? I say we should just grow real mustaches and be done with it.

4. “Teenager Posts”

haha ... thats all ;)

Teenager Posts

Teenager Posts

People, this is why teenagers get a bad rep.  It makes us sound like perpetually exhausted and hungry anti-socialites whose brains are made up of bitter and sarcasm.  Some of these are funny, but most of the time I just wonder if there’s anything appealing about being so miserable and sardonic.

5. GIRLS AND FOOD

Funny Confession Ecard: Everybody has a girlfriend and boyfriend, and I'm just over here like ' I love food '.

I am Italian.  I love food as much as you do.  But single girls, you do not have to overuse the “I don’t care about a relationship I just I love food” mantra CONSTANTLY.  Is food amazing? Yes, absolutely.  But just because you’re single you do not have to pretend like you’re a loser and the only thing that will ever love you is Taco Bell.  You’re way better than that.  You’re like, Sheetz, at least.  Kidding, kidding! My point is that just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you have to practically date your McNuggets.  Focus on appreciating yourself as just yourself.

So there are my teenage cliches that need to disappear.  Thoughts? Let me know in the comments and enjoy being single and eating your bacon while you twirl your mustache and experience that awkward moment when you’ve been reading teenager posts for three hours!

– Julia

 

A Nerd Girl’s Love Life Entirely In Superhero GIFS

Seriously, does anything need to be explained about this title? Let’s get started.

Fake dudes have been your comfort-zone crushes for a while now

And you’re hesitant to break out of your little world of capes and spandex

Because every time you try to meet someone it doesn’t work.  Expectation:

Reality:

But you still can’t stop wishing for a Superman to your Lois Lane

Especially when you’re painfully aware of how accurately this portrays your life

And there was that one guy…

But it didn’t end well.

So just when you’ve hit rock bottom by watching Hulk Vs. Wolverine/Hulk Vs. Thor for the 30th time…

You see somebody at school or work and suddenly you’re all like

 

Cuz he’s got the heart of Captain America

The brains of Bruce Banner

The brooding mysteriousness of Batman

The hair of Thor

And the swag of Tony Stark!

And you know that you’re a super-match made in Heaven!

But alas! Your love life seems doomed to be worse than even Wolverine’s…

Because this amazing guy already likes someone else

gif,avengers,Captain America,love

And at first you’re all

And then you’re all

But then you start to get REALLY mad like

CUZ IT’S NOT FREAKING FAIR

But when you stop and think about it, maybe you missed the lessons that all those comics teach us

That no matter who you are

And no matter what others say

You are super.

tobey maguire (97) Animated Gif on Giphy

With or without your dream hero.

Yes, I know the feels.  Soak it up.

Besides, there’s a new cutie in town who’s caught your eye.

Stay awesome.

 

– Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Creepy Halloween Poem By Yours Truly

Ohmigosh, Halloween is only a day away!

In the wake of my insane excitement for one of my favorite holidays, I’ve written a creepy, gothic poem that I hope you guys enjoy! I also hope it freaks you out a bit.

Just to reiterate what I’ve said before, I’m not goth! To quote Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice, I myself am strange and unusual and this is reflected in my writing.  So in case you’re picturing me like this:

STAHP.

Here’s the poem.

“Flesh and Steel”

The day I tried to laugh

And blood fell off my lips from the effort

Was when I knew I wasn’t right

So I looked inside and saw the machine

 

It whirred and smoked and roared and hissed

Greased by blood that was not red

— but black — black like oil coursing through my veins

 

And then I saw my heart hanged on a chain

One side was beating crimson, while the other

— I almost could not bear to look —

was cold and steel

Draining all my light away, choking it

with what I could not feel

 

I know, I know, it’s dark.  But I like creepy stuff and it’s almost Halloween! I’ll give you a poem about unicorns next time.

Thanks for reading and have a happy and safe Halloween! Let me know what you think about the poem in the comments below!

 

My Favorite Episodes Of MST3K (Part 1)

The Daily Suck

You may think you’re a comedy buff.  You may think that you’ve seen all the funniest movies and tv shows out there, and are well acquainted with all of the major comedians.  You may think that you know funny.  But I’m going to tell you right now that you have not seen it all until you’ve watched a little show called Mystery Science Theater 3000.  

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K for short) is not easily explained.  Basically, a mad scientist and his partner are trying to find the best way to take over the world, so they send their temp, Joel (and later, Mike) up into space and force him to watch terrible movies in an effort to break his will.  In the mean time, Joel builds robots Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot to keep him company.  The premise of the show is that we as the audience get to watch the trio watch these horrible films and make fun of (riff on) them.  It sounds silly, I know, but trust me, this show is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  Running from 1989 to 1999, MST3K has a dedicated cult following and a wealth of one hilarious episode after the next.  In no particular order, here’s a list of some of my favorites!

1. Cave Dwellers

This Conan The Barbarian inspired film gives us one of my very favorite episodes of MST3K.  Joel and the bots never miss opportunity to riff on its cast of goofy characters and inexplicable events, from the incompetent villain (the dude with the mustache) to hero Ator’s fight with invisible enemies.  Hilarious from start to finish.

Riff that sums it up: “Tolkien couldn’t follow this plot!”

2. Boggy Creek II: and The Legend Continues…

Boggy Creek II is one of those movies that seems like it was born to be on MST3K.  Following the journey of a researcher and his students and their attempt to find the legendary “Boggy Creek Creature” deep in the south, the MST3K crew (with Mike instead of Joel, who left the show in its fifth season) gives us riff after riff that made me cry with laughter.  I’ve watched this episode a thousand times and it just keeps getting funnier.

Riff that sums it up: (Mike as the movie’s main character) “We’re goin’ camping and you’re gonna watch.”

3. Time Chasers

A nerdy inventor named Nick and his journalist girlfriend go on a trip through time to prevent an evil CEO from using Nick’s time machine to destroy the future.  Their journey involves a trip to a futuristic (?) food court, bonding in the produce isle of a grocery store, and a very poor mixture of plaids.  Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow pull no punches with this one, and their riffing is absolutely top-notch during Time Chasers.                                                                                                                                  

 Riff that sums it up: “The adventures of the average people!”

4. Manos: The Hands Of Fate

 

If you were to look at anyone else’s list of favorite MST3K episodes, I can guarantee that this one will be on that list.  And for good reason.  Manos: The Hands Of Fate is one of the worst movies to ever be featured on MST3K, making it perfect fodder for Joel and the bots.  The only way to watch this film is to watch the MST3K version, and the guys ensure that it is one of the most hilarious experiences you will ever have.

Riff that sums it up: (Tom) “So we’ve gotta be, what, half an hour into this movie by now, right?” (Joel) “No, actually, it’s more like a minute.”  (Tom, appalled) “…No.”

5. Werewolf

Werewolf.  I can remember how horribly my stomach hurt after watching this episode from laughing so hard.  The MST3K cast rip this movie apart like the werewolf does to his victims, except with much more ferocity than the wimpy monster in the film.  Look out for Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo’s musical interlude during this one: it’s a doozy.

Riff that sums it up: (We hear a door slam in the background) “Oh, that was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.”

There are literally SO many hilarious episodes that I could never compile a complete list in one sitting, so stay tuned for part 2 coming soon! In the mean time, you can check out every episode of MST3K right here on this incredible website and fan community: http://www.club-mst3k.com/ Get ready for some serious laughs.

– Julia

A Poem For Writer’s Block By Sir Philip Sydney

The Daily Suck

It’s been one of those days.  Those inevitable days when absolutely nothing comes to mind as a writer.  Frustrating? Unbelievably so.  As I sat here searching for something halfway decent to write, I remembered a poem I had read in my poetry class last semester (in case you haven’t been able to tell so far, I really liked that class).  Written by Sir Philip Sydney, the poem is about someone trying to write a love letter but is unable to do so because of writer’s block.  It’s one of the most relatable poems as a writer and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

“Loving In Truth”

Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show,

That she (dear she) might take some pleasure of my pain,

Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know,

Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain,

I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe:

Studying inventions fine, her wits to entertain,

Oft turning others’ leaves, to see if thence would flow

Some fresh and fruitful showers upon my sunburned brain.

But words came halting forth, wanting Invention’s stay;

Invention, Nature’s child, fled stepdame Study’s blows;

And others’ feet still seemed but strangers in my way.

Thus, great with child to speak, and helpless in my throes,

Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite:

“Fool,” said my Muse to me, “look in thy heart, and write.”

 

– Julia

My Poetry: The Lonely

The Daily Suck

I thought that I would share another of my poems with you guys today.  Yay for you! Just kidding.  Anyways, it’s called “The Lonely” and it’s one of my favorite poems that I’ve written.  It’s a bit on the depressing side, but before you suggest that I be heavily medicated, relax.  It’s not written from my point of view.  I’m not sure why, but my poems usually tend to not be about me.  Maybe I need to get the whole “tortured artist” thing going on before I can be interesting enough to base a poem off of? Whatever the reason, here is “The Lonely” and I hope that I can hear the sound of your virtual snapping once you’re finished. 

“The Lonely”

In his house
my tiny house
on my street
this broken song
goes through my head again and again
starting over
just like me
but both of us play out the same
and all I’ve ever known and am
repeats
a tired encore that never ends

– Julia

A Beautiful Quote For Readers And Writers

Image

The Daily Suck

Just a little mini-post today, but I thought I would share this quote with you all.  It’s so beautiful, and anyone who has a favorite book can say the same.  Heck, if you’re not reader, then I don’t know what else could make you want to become one more.  Enjoy the quote, make a cup of tea, and go grab your favorite book!

– Julia